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Monday, April 12, 2010

Practicing the 3rd Agreement - There is no Perfection, Only Process


Today, I'll be continuing the series "The 10 Agreements for Living the Life you Truly Desire." I invite you to participate in the conversation as we explore the power of living a well lived life.

I came up with the "10 Agreements for Living the Life you Truly Desire" to help myself and other women identify those areas that would give us the direction we need to live our lives with fulfillment, purpose and joy.

Agreement # 1 is: I agree to help others in their quest to live the life they truly desire.


Agreement # 2: I agree to discover how to develop myself to the fullest extent. To read the post on this agreement click here.

Agreement #3: I agree to remember that there is no perfection, only process.

That bears repeating many times in a single day. There is no perfection only process. Most people would agree that America is a country that worships perceived perfection. What immediately comes to mind are celebrities. In this country there's a fondness for building a false reality of perfection around a highly visible person and than at the slightest glimpse of human-ness, many of us participate in vilifying the poor celeb for not being what they can never be... perfect.


The influence of reality television and a pervasive fascination with experiencing our 15-minutes-of-fame can put a lot of pressure on both the young and not so young. For example, the recent emphasis on Anjelina Jolie's ability to snap back to her pre-baby weight after having twins. Some women will compare themselves to Jolie and think because she's been able to achieve this in 3 months no less, that she's perfect. This lulls us into believing that perfection is the absolute.

Okay, let's examine a different arena. In my writing classes my students typically approach the class from the philosophy of perfectionism. They come to college and think they should immediately have things figured out and that to reveal that they don't is shameful. (Note to self - preoccupation with perfectionism is the road to shame, while process is the road to confidence.) I spend most of my energy the first year giving them exercises to teach them how to be comfortable with process. How to make it a way of life. They, like all of us, must accept process over perfection if they are to mature and grow in any meaningful way.

This agreement asks us to be mindful of the inevitability and power of process, as noted by the great playwright, Samuel Beckett: "Try again. Fail again. Fail better."


The learning and revelation that's born from the philosophy of process, that's what we should really be after.

1 comment:

  1. This is a great post. Process is something I, myself, need to keep in mind. It's sad because I think for many especially those growing up in the reality TV stage, this would be a new way of thinking.

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