Monday, May 10, 2010
Practicing the 5th Agreement - Beware of Self Judgement
Today, I'll be continuing the series "The 10 Agreements for Living the Life you Truly Desire." I invite you to participate in the conversation as we explore the power of living a well lived life.
I came up with the "10 Agreements for Living the Life you Truly Desire" to help myself and other women identify those areas that would give us the direction we need to live our lives with fulfillment, purpose and joy.
Agreement # 1 is: I agree to help others in their quest to live the life they truly desire.
Agreement # 2: I agree to discover how to develop myself to the fullest extent.
Agreement #3: I agree to remember that there is no perfection, only process.
Agreement #4: I agree to take life serious enough to remember to laugh with the good times and some of the sad ones.
Agreement #5: I agree to stop self judging behavior and replace it with self assessment.
I have been a teacher and coach for over 20 years. During this time I've seen and learned a lot about what motivates people to pursue their dreams and to live the lives they truly desire. One thing I have consistently observed is the propensity for people to undermine their creativity and life possibility with self judgment.
Several years ago I coined a phrase that speaks directly to Agreement #5: "Self judgment is the death of creativity while self assessment opens you up to unlimited possibility." Whenever I share this quote with students and clients most of them nod their heads in silent agreement. They intuitively understand and have experienced the harm of self judgement. The heart of the quote strikes them with its truth and the light bulb of responsibility illuminates their minds.
Many of us have learned to judge ourselves (usually harshly) but not to make honest and conscientious assessments of ourselves. Judgments usually are experienced as negative chatter. False statements that tear you down and immobilize your creativity and ability to execute the steps to move you toward your goals. Assessment invites you to evaluate the effectiveness of your performance and determine what kinds of adjustments you need to make. Practicing and developing the skill of assessemnt will help you figure out what you need to do next to make your goals and your life a shared reality. I know it works, because it works for me.
Agreement #5 is probably the most critical agreement you'll need to implement to clear the way for you to live the life you truly desire. Please share your comments and successes below.
Remember, time is short. Do your happy dance. Enjoy life!